spatial work


Prescription: Blue Pills

February 3, 2020Exposing ROY

Just my thoughts here.

Life, illusion, perception, time, moments… these words are something that were occupying my brain for a couple of years. And I remember I walked out of the class last Monday, realizing that I have been taking the “blue pill” for a past few months. I completely let myself sink into the joy of living in the simulation. It’s fun not to think about existential crisis. But this was not because I was trying to avoid the reality, but because I have come to a conclusion that there is no answer to anything. To be honest, I think the quality of my life has been elevated ever since I stopped identifying and classifying all the brain activities inside my head. But selling the blue pill is not what I am trying to do here. I used to think settling down for a surface level reality was something cowardly. But there is a certain value to taking a blue pill – only if you are aware of it.

So what does being ‘aware’ mean here? I know we use this term a lot during meditation practices. Is it something that’s happening on a higher level than brain activities? Is it the real me? Is it even real?

Well, all of these questions come down to personal experiences at the end. In my opinion, I have been noticing “something” that can control the involuntary actions or thoughts that occurs within me. And whether it be consciousness, mind, awareness, soul, or whatever you want to call this, there is a sense of separation from your physical body and “you”.

After reading, I am more convinced that I am composed of a physical body that is a complete delusional box that carries me around – trying to survive from the ruthless world, and “me” being the control tower over here. You could actively engage with the physical stimulation, or you could make your body believe in what you want to live in. To expand on this idea, you can pretty much form your own reality and and live in it as you want. I know it sounds like I don’t care about the truth at all. But wait, I do think it could actually be somewhat closer to the “truth” if there is any.

One of the greatest, scientifically proven and intact(!) discovery is that time is relevant. In the world of quantum physics, as far as we know, nothing exists outside of the relation with another. The relationship exists not because the objects exist, but because the relationship itself is what makes objects exist. So there is no such thing as single ultimate reality. It’s a false myth. And as we have became aware of, even our perception is all an illusion. The reality, it resides within the relation between you and the other.

So what’s my conclusion? I am still trying to figure it out myself and live. Maybe the reality is an illusion and it’s the truth. The only thing I am quite sure about is that you learn to live with your physical self and your mind. Go out, make connection to the world, and to the others. Then perhaps you’ll become less of an illusion, but more of an existential being in this world, who knows?

© ymchoi 2019